Ladies and Gentlemen the girl who does not drink is now a bartender.

Yes you have read that right. Me and alcohol are a no go. All of it smells and tastes the same to me. Which kind of makes being a bartender a smidge difficult, as far as trying to give recommendations and such. I’ve been getting by surprisingly well off just with cleverly named beers (such as Spaceman and Jetman Jimmy) and interesting bottle names (such as Hoover’s Revenge).

This goal wasn’t initially on the list, but I decided to change one of the items to Bartending because an opportunity came (more like thrown at me like a curve ball) for me to learn how to bartend.

Let’s rewind 2 weeks ago when my brother had sprung it on me that he would need me to cover his bar shift for a weekend so that he could go on his anniversary. Okay can’t really argue with him for missing work cause that stuff is important, but why leave me with a bar! I didn’t know how to make cocktails, couldn’t tell the difference between vodka and gin, not to mention I could not for the life of me pour a beer, oh and the most obvious being that I don’t even drink!

So with all that panic happening in my head I changed one of my skill goals to Bartending to motivate me into getting serious about being a bartender.

Que a training montage everyday that week with my brother at the bar where he showed me that I just wasn’t pulling the beer tap handle far enough, so it was just coming out foamy. So thank goodness I figured out that one, cause I was getting a lot of flack for not being able to pour a beer. Any way once we figured out my beer problem we decided to practice my 4 count for pouring liquor. Had that down no problem and then he focused on teaching me some cocktails specific to the menu. Which I did not feel super confident in, but he said all I had to do was look at the menu if I needed help and it wouldn’t be a problem.

After that he focused my attentions on the wine list. The wine list consists of over 50 wines and I had to figure out where each one was stored and which ones were already open. Had to study up on a lot of wines very quickly and the problem even more so with wine is that wine has a whole culture with it, there is more descriptions, more everything when it comes to wine. Did I remember any of these things? No.

By the weekend I still had absolutely no idea what I was doing and then it hit me that we had practiced cocktails on the menu, not basic cocktails that any regular person would know ie. margaritas, martinis, manhattans (for some reason I can only remember drinks that star with m). So about an hour and a half in I had a mini panic attack once I got an order that was different than mimosas or bloody mary’s (thank you brunch people for easy drinks!). After stumbling through a cocktail that I am not really sure was correct I started to realize that it was just a drink.

I know this sounds dumb, but it hit me that if it was really bad they would complain to the server and I’d just remake it. Sure it wouldn’t be great to waste alcohol, but I was learning and I didn’t know what I was doing. I just gotta make the drinks the way the customers like them and no harm in asking if they want me to remake it or try something new. That was when I learned that a lot of bar customers really do enjoy teaching a new bartender their favorite drinks and their favorite bar tricks.

I spent that weekend learning the ins and outs of certain cocktails and generally learning the area of the bar (plus I had one guy stay at the bar for a few hours teaching me bar magic tricks!). I had spent a full 5 days freaking out trying to learn everything without just jumping in and that was dumb. You learn how to make drinks, just by doing it and if you screw up you just fix it and move on to the next drink.

Do I know every drink of all time? No not one bit. But with my new found bar knowledge and knowing the basics I feel confident in being able to figure out how to make any drink.

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